Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I just pynch a tree in the face
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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