he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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