If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
