I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
There r osticjed everywhere
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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