the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Randomize
