Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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