is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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