It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize