i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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