How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
