Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
