I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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