I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
