I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
