dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I touched a dick in church today
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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