Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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