if i can run in heels then i can drive
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
