I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
