Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Randomize
