i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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