his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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