Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
