Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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