come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize