and next time when you feel me up, do it right
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Randomize
