She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
