i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
