Don't you send me to vm
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
