No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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