I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
