The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
