I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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