I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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