I feel like abortions should bother me more
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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