I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize