she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
