I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
