no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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