Rock
Scissors
Fuck
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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