A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Define "chronic" masturbator.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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