nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
