I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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