I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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