Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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