Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize