Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
