and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
