i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I hope mine doesn't look like that
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Your cock deserves a montage
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
