as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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