Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
