I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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