She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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