Christians are straight up FREAKS
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
