Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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