I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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