If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
