Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Nicole vs. Life
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
