I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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