So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
