so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
